Jai Hind :)

In India today, we have a lady born a Catholic (Sonia Gandhi) stepping aside so a sikh (Manmohan Singh) could be sworn in by a Muslim President (Abdul Kalam) to lead a nation that is 82% Hindu.

Michhhhhhh u di

Just 4 hrs of ur presence each day. I used to think it is not much. Now that you gone....I realize how much it means to me.....I miss your adorable smile that I used to see as I walked into the office. I miss saying Hi to the sweetest friend I had in office. Someone who always sms'ed me when I was 10 mins late askin me where I am and when I would reach office. I miss you when I walk up to the canteen all by myself. And I miss you when I do not have another hand into my plate to nibble and share my food before it is time for your cab. I miss those IP's. I miss those stolen moments between my calling hours when you walked up to me and chit chatted about your many little moments in life. Miss picking you up from your house. Miss the trips to our famous photo album pilgrimage (Lolz..)Miss bringing you snacks. Miss having you beside me when i want to give my headset to you so you heard my fav song or comedy clip from UTube. Miss cribbing and bitching to you about all my funny episodes which you would smile and giggle and listen to. Those were such beautiful memories which I will cherish all my life. Now that you are gone I am staring at the empty seat in front of the computer opposite to me smiling to myself thanking god for bringing you into my life. It has been a very short while, girl. but, your footprints will always remain in my walls of my heart. Love you a lot. May you have a great splendid future ahead :)

Take me to your heart...But who r u ???

I know I am strong. I know I can handle this feeling of bein forlorn. I know I can be alone. I know I am not weak. I know I wont cry. But tears roll down ma cheek when I write all this as I hear "Take me to your heart" by MLTR. I fumble for words when I realize that I cant handle my own self. I realise I am just hiding inside a shell like a Cancerian. But alas who can hide the truth that I am a Taurean, the sentimental weak and emotional bull. Tough yet so fragile. Anyways am glad I poured this out in ma blog. I feel better.... I just love this song. Here are the lines that just broke my bubble.

Hiding from the rain and snow
Trying to forget but I won't let go.......

Looking at a crowded street
Listening to my own heart beat

So many people all around the world
Tell me where do I find someone like you :(

Take me to your heart
take me to your soul

Give me your hand before I'm old
Show me what love is - haven't got a clue

Show me that wonders can be true
They say nothing lasts forever

We're only here today
Love is now or never

Bring me far away
Take me to your heart ..........take me to your soul

Give me your hand and hold me
Show me what love is - be my guiding star

It's easy
take me to your heart

Standing on a mountain high
Looking at the moon through a clear blue sky

I should go and see some friends
But they don't really comprehend

Don't need too much talking without saying anything
All I need is someone who makes me wanna sing...........
Just take me to your heart ..........take me to your soul !!!!!!!!

But, wait....I guess there was also something else that just digged out all those emotions from deep within. Yupp.....He digged it out without knowing he is capable of doing so. He didn't realize that his words were the shovel which would dust out the sediments that were deposited in the bottom of my heart years before and were almost turning into fossils. Now I feel like all the rocks just melted. The melted rocks are boiling and stirring in my soul hitting the walls of ma heart desperate to erupt and burst like a violent volcano. But I must say....Though it is painful sometimes it is nice to have someone dig it out. Especially him :) So, it ain't his fault. Its just my foolish sentimental soul. Am glad I put it in words. My soul feels light. But I guess a ride to the beach, and walking on the sands with my bare feet and listening to the waves and watching the sunrise with a few moments of crying out loud would make this feelin go away. Tomorrow I know I will be back to how I am. The happy tomboyish gurl merrily listening to Bon Jovi's Its ma Life....back into ma shell :)

So here I go to do some soul searching...oops...not searching but to some soul hiding :) I think I should finish this post with a smiling face for me to come back tomorrow and see the blog with some positive thought in ma head. Bye ma sweet online diary....Love u for being there.
(P.S - Pls dont ever call my emotions BS...U know what I mean) :)

Anbe Sivam :)

My dad always told me we belong to the caste of Pillai and our god is Lord Shiva. I never gave religion, caste and similar factors much importance cuz my brother is a very free willed person and I am lot more connected to him in my house than with any of the others. Both of us were bought up in Bahrain and it didn't matter much to us as we mostly communicated in English and did not know how to read or write Tamil. And neither did my parents rub the ritual of going to the temple or doing pooja everyday. Thus, I have friends of all castes. Never has anything spiritual touched me. Even during my school days I used to call myself an atheist when we used to have discussions within friends on spiritual stuff. (But now, I believe into the All Mighty about which I will blog later here :)). So, the first time I was really touched by the qualities of Lord Shiva was when I watched this film Anbe Sivam. When Kamal keeps pressing on the fact that there is God in all of us. Who loves another and knows how to share love and prevent destruction has God in himself. (By the way, I love Kamal and have always admired him.). The second time I was touched was when I was part of a "NarPani Kuzhu". I stay in Saligramam which is close to the Vadapalani Siva Temple. My mom being a very dynamic person always participates in social activities. And she is an inspiring example of the saying "Age is only a number". She is god fearing and just like the Nalla Sivam character in Anbe Sivam. She knows only to love. I might not have seen Mother Teresa. But, I am humbly happy to be born to mommy cuz she suits all those names you would say about people who are for humanity. She just knows only to give Love. You hate her and she will still just love you back. You get angry with her and she would still love you and most importantly be there for you when you need her. I love you Ma. (I could just go on and on about her....)

But, now back to the my love for Lord Shiva. Mom told me to participate in this "NarPani Kuzhu"(its a social service group) where we have people of all ages. The plight would be to travel early in the morning in a tempo traveler to a temple which is in the outskirts of Chennai. There is a research group who would find out which Shiva temple has not been accessed for a long while ....like in years. Our mission is to reach there and start cleaning the temple. The little ones take up responsibility to search for flowers, make garlands, chant mantras and to serve tea to others who are in the tedious tasks of cleaning the shrubs around the temple. Young and middle aged men get into the bushes and start clearing of wild plants sometimes encountering snakes. The aged women start cooking lunch for all of us. Old men and ladies take up roles of washing the walls inside the temple and my favourite part - cleansing the idols and making them shine. I loved this part. It touched me to see that only in the Lord Shiva temple can u walk into the place where the idol is and you can touch and cleanse the Lingam. It is a great feeling which I can never express in words. In a world where they say that the Brahmins should be the only one who would chant in Sanskrit and have access to God. Shiva is one deity who is one among all of us. He is preached in the way where you know he is everywhere and in everything (FYI critics, this is my personal outlook and emotions ...) The whole group chant only in Tamil. No Sanskrit. And in the evening the temple looks afresh. Poojas are performed and all of us chant Shiva mantras. When we return home it is such a complete feeling in the heart as we leave behind a temple which is flooded by the localites who are ready to take care of this clean temple from then on. It touched me to see this task of rejuvenating holy places which were not accessed for a long while. And the third time I was really moved with the Shiv mantras was when I saw Naan Kadavul. The intro scene of Arya. Shivers ran down my spine, I had goose bumps. I just was engrossed into the vibration. I love this feeling. It is so beautiful. Will cherish this moments of my love and devotion towards the Lord Shiva. Just love this hymn from the movie Naan Kadavul. Have listened to it a 1000 times now :)

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Anda brammanda koti
Akhila paripaalana
Poorana jagat kaarana sathya deva deva Priya
Vedha vedhartha saara
yagna yagnomaya
Nishchala dushta nigragha
sapta loga samrakshana
Soma soorya agni lochana
Swetha rishaba vaaghana
Soola pani bujanga booshana
tripura naasha nardhana
Yoma kesa mahaasena janaka
pancha vaktra parasu hastha namaha
Om Sivoham
Om Sivoham
Rudra roopam bajeham
Om Sivoham
Om Sivoham
Rudra naamam bajeham

Jai ho Rahman ji :)

He was sooooo cute.....chooooooo sweet......and adorably shy. The guy who used to switch off the lights before he sings cuz he felt shy. The little sweet Dilip Kumar who has transformed to this massive force in music. hats off to you. Tears welled in ma eyes when he spoke in Tamizh "Ella Pugazhum Iraivanukke" and Hindi "Mere Paas Ma Hae". I loved the way he handled victory. So down to earth. So inspiring. He is one idol we should all look up to, to understand that we should all stick to our roots no matter wht we achieve. He is never too proud. Never with attitude. I love you A R Rahman Sir. May you keep the spirits high always and may you bring more and more glory to music. We are so proud of you for your have brought so much glory to arts and music. The most valuable resources of all that which God has given this universe. Thank you Sir.

Two quotes from my favorite people about the Mozart of Madras when he won the golden guy.

Adnan Sami - He is such a darling. I would pinch his cheeks when I see him :)

Shankar Mahadevan - He was so shy and cute when he walked up to the stage.

Child is the father of man :)

I realised the essence of this line after watching the movie Abhiyum Naanum. Whtaaa splendid movie. Wow...its a piece of sensible movie making. Really wonderful. Applause to Prakash. Kudos to Radha. Great work. Thank you guys. Your presence in the celluloid has proven itz worth. "Abhiyum Naanum"- A masterpiece....My family has so much connection to this movie. Abhi is ours. She is ma little niece born on the 17th of July. My family is 6 of us apart (and a part of her also :)) from our Abhi. And for each 1 of us the title solely applied. Each of us would own the title "Abhiyum Naanum". We were so keen to watch this film cuz the latest madness in our house is not Rajni or Shahrukh or Britney Spears. But its Abhi Kutty. It is she who has kept us all connected to each other, she has us on our toes, she has filled our lives with this invisible but abundant amout of bliss and hopes. She does not say anything but does everything :) Yes, all these months we have all changed ourselves. For the betterment I would say. I could just go on and on about my Abhi(Jai, this is my blog so its my Abhi. If you want you can start a blog and call her your Abhi. Same applies to Ma, Pa, Akka, Anni...He he...ok ok...Abhi kutty, I was just kidding..Not fighting with them...Don't look at this blog in the future to ask me why I was quarrelling to make you mine :P)...Just like how in the movie the little girl teaches us by her innocent selfless acts of adopting a beggar into the family. Our Abhi has also touched our lives in her own ways. To start with, our little angel has bought up a great impact on her grand dad who now has changed so much. He has become a more calmer, happier person. The sparkle in his eyes and the smile on his lips tells so much about his contented heart on his new promotion as grandpa. And mom has become more active than before..hyperactive I must say...She has gone mad about Abhi...All the time cuddling and coaxing and doing all crazy things with her :) There is this lovely routine in the morning, oil massages and sun baths and warm water filled tubby play time that take place in the house. I get up to the ramblings of Abhi gaa gaa'ing her own music tryin to be in sync with my mom's lullaby's. And then my sister who of late has surprisingly become a very calm person. She used to fight with me so much before Abhi was around. We were like Tom and Jerry. But now ma sis is like - Abhi will grow to look up to us, so we need to behave and set a good example for her so we should not fight much, thanks to Abhi that I get away with ma pranks nowadays. he...he...

Then, ma anni. There was this just married days when Anni used to be this person mad about ma bro always asking him to spend time with her. Little fights and childish tantrums and crying dramas all the time. But after Abhi there is this amazing change in her. I cant believe that she has become such an understanding person and she is a very very adorable mother. Hats off to her love towards Abhi. Its very very touching to see the way she loves Abhi.

And last but not the least ma brother. Wow....whtaaaaa change. There is a saying that "When a child is born a father is born". I am glad I saw the meaning of this quote in my brother. He is this new person. I would say he is also just 6 months old. There is so much changes in him. His priorities have changed, his outlook in life has changed, his way of talking and thinking has changed. I just love this new guy in him. He is filled with new hopes and new dreams. Thank you Abhi for bringing a new vibrance in him :) Muah...I will always love you and would do anything for you di ma little cute sweet darling :)

Abhimanya :)

Yes....That's ma adorable little angel, my bugs bunny, my charismatic chakrakatti, my darling doll, my everlasting enigma, my fabulous fairy, my gol gappa, my happy honeybunch, my italian ice cream, my juicy jilebi, my kiwi punch, my lusty love, my morning mist, my naughty niece, my oxygen, my pretty princess, my queen of smiles, my robust rainbow, my sweet sugar, my turquoise tulip, my ultimate usher, my vulnerable violet, my wonderous water bubble, my xtasy, my yellow sunflower, my zesty zeal....I love u di...Muahhhh :)